Hero Quest Chapter 2 part 1

Everyday Life- Tuesday

  John’s watch beeped.  He was going to just stay in bed.  The emotion from Monday had made the night’s sleep restless at best.  “No, John.  You have got to get up and run.”  The blankets hugged him tightly and seemed to encourage him to just stay right there in the bed.  “Why is it that the bed feels so much more comfortable when you know that you need to get up?”  John continued to try to motivate himself.  He then began to walk through his ultimate dream.  Every part of that dream had him walking around, fit and healthy.  In the dream he was 75 but seemed to be ageless.  As John saw himself in the dream he began to get excited.  It was time to get going.  The clock said it was 5:10 am.  Carefully making his way across the dark room toward the bathroom, John continued to try to motivate himself.  “If you are going to run 40 miles on your 40^th birthday you are going to need to just get out there and do it.  Besides, too many people know of your crazy goal to back out now.  But of course you need your rest, go back to bed.  You had a hard day yesterday.  You deserve to sleep, just another 30 minutes.”  The conversation continued but John dressed anyway and ran five miles.  Running always woke him up and got him past that morning lack of motivation.   

     After a cool drink of water John sat in his special chair and began to talk with Jesus, “So where were you yesterday?”  Silence.  “I mean I was left high and dry there, under attack and you did nothing.  I trusted You.”  “Did you?”  For a moment John was stunned.  “Of course I trusted in You.”  “Did you?” The soft compassionate but very serious voice again asked.  Now John was silent.  At least he was silent outwardly inside he began fuming.  “You know I need to get out of this job.  This is just too dangerous to my reputation.  What if the police believed her?  I would never be able to get a job again.  I would be disgraced in the papers.  My family would hide their faces when we went to church.  I can almost hear the people whispering, ‘There goes the woman beater.’  No doubt about it I need to quit.”  Again silence filled the house.  John listened to the clock tick.  The cat scratched at the carpet and John nearly dislocated his arm trying to hit the beast with his shoe.  Normally he would have just shooed the cat from his scratching duty but in the moment hitting the cat seemed so much the better.  “Stupid cat!”  The momentary pause in the prayer time reminded John that he was supposed to be praying and was wasting time letting his mind wander aimlessly.  “A hero must focus and I am John Hero so I will focus.”  John read a few pages from His Bible and tried praying a pre written prayer that he had once read from a book, copied and taped down in a journal.  Something seemed lacking in the moment though.  He closed the book and looked over at the empty couch across the room.  “Did you?”  Exasperated, John just stared at the emptiness.  Anger again welled up inside of him.  “I tell you that I learned to trust You 12 years ago and have never looked back.”  Suddenly John felt his face grow hot.  He was blushing.  Though there was no mirror near by him knew that he must be blushing.  That was a lie.  His faith had left him on many occasions.  Multiple times in his life he had resolved to abandon this whole God thing and just get on with a more normal life.  It might have been just coincidence but John felt a cool breeze blow across his face in that moment.  It felt like a soft inviting kiss.  “I love you John.  Why didn’t you trust me?”  The whole vivid, horrible scene replayed itself in John’s head.  He wanted to get away from it all and go eat his oatmeal.  But the scene played on anyway.  Again and again he watched things unfold.  Forwards and backwards the movie in his head showed him every detail in picture perfect clarity.  “Where did I fail?”  John watched it again and again. “Help me see this through Your eyes.”  Suddenly John saw himself sitting at his desk.  There was a woman talking to him.  But he could hear no voices.  Out of the silence he heard the voice.  It was silent for moment and then he heard it again.  “Let it go.  Let her steal the pillows, the blankets the sheets, let her have it all.  I will get you more.”  John wept.  He remembered hearing that.  But he had ignored it figuring that it was the voice of passivity sneaking up on him.  A small tear danced around the creases of John’s face.  “Now I see.”