| Target | Actually Done | |
| Leadership Bible | Be on page 805 (5 pg a day) | On page 808 |
| Faith in Action Bible | Be on page 966 (6 pg a day) | On page 922 |
| Message Read Through | 7 Days youversion program | On track |
| Running | 25 miles a week | 5 |
| Running 2012 Overall | 1212 miles by 12/12/12 | 350.5 |
| Crunches | 1000 a week | 0 |
| Floss | 7 times a week | 7 Days |
| Face Cleaning/Lotions | 7 times a week | 6 |
| I Like Book | 7 times a week | 7 |
| Modules | 2 a week | 2 |
| Social Events | 3 a quarter | 6 |
| Guy Time | 10 X a quarter | 4 |
| Self Exam | 3 a week | 0 |
| Book Reading | 1 Book a week | 1 |
| Evening Prayer Meeting | 26 times a year | 11 |
| Paid Speaking | 3 a quarter | 1 |
| Date with Cara | 3 a quarter | 2 |
| Date with Rachel | 1 a quarter | 0 |
This week was not much better than last week as you can see from the numbers. I am simply worn down and seem to be falling apart. On at least one occasion this week I seriously considered going to the mental health respite and checking myself in for a few days. I figured that they would most likely just medicate me and then charge me too much. While I did some heroic things this week, I feel the least heroic that I have ever felt. I blew it on multiple occasions. I lost my temper and I feel terrible about that.
I realize the importance respect plays in my heart. I thrive on respect and on several occasions I was totally disrespected. I do my best everyday and sometimes it seems that no one notices how I am constantly serving everyone. This has been a totally frustrating week. I am hopeful that the weeks ahead will get better with a better work schedule and a little more rest it should be awesome. I hope so since right now I can feel that I am losing my passion for the work that God has given me.
Aw, Pastor Rich. I understand. It's hard to give oursleves a break when the work is so rewarding and needed by others. And when it's not appreciated or respected, it can make you question your intentions. Might just be a opportunity to learn a new facet of the work. Like you offered me a few months ago, don't be so hard on yourself. Sometimes it's a suck reality but we're still human. Always proud of you and your amazing selfless work! xoxo :)
ReplyDeleteRich, I cant help but wonder if you are hanging out in the "room of good intentions" rather than the "room of grace"? When you said no one seems to notice how hard you are working and how you are exhausted I am wondering if that is not a red flag. I think being a hero isnt something you have to strive for, you are a hero when you just be yourself. Maybe all the added stuff is what is standing between you and the finish line? I am praying you find that rest that Paul speaks of, and that you realize you already have all you need to complete the calling God gave you. Keri
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